Harish Marries Deepa

During our journey in India we have been fortunate to have seen many historic sights. The nuptials of our driver Harish Kumar meant, however, that we would see up-close a true slice of Indian life. Although the marriage had been arranged some years ago by the bride's and groom’s parents, the wedding invitation was provided just a few short weeks before the big event. Helen, while helping Harish scan the wedding invitation on her computer so it could be e-mailed to Harish's friends, discovered that this invitation was “his” invitation. His betrothed Deepa had “her” invitations. First indication of unusual things (for us) to come.

Since the wedding would take place in their “native” (hometown) which was a six hour drive north, Helen made travel arrangements. Our travel plans included staying in the Presidential Suite in the Hotel Pooja International. Wow! The unusual angles of this room were a surprise as was the bathroom tub. Egad! We were as much afraid of the tub as we were of the windows. We were concerned that opening the rusting metal window frames would result in the glass panes crashing to the ground. But we were happy to be on a new adventure.

It can best be described that the wedding ceremony unfolded…rather than being performed. Both Harish and Deepa had been involved in ritual and ceremony all the previous night. Sleeplessness showed on their faces. More ritual was to follow for the next three hours. It appeared that neither bride nor groom had a clue what was going to happen next. The main event took place behind a long blue curtain that ran across the large stage in the hall where the wedding was taking place.

Deepa appeared first on the mat set up for the ceremony. This southern Indian wedding is steeped in agrarian symbolism, mostly centered on rice. A priest directed the ceremony and provided Deepa and Harish just-in-time instructions on their next ritual. When Harish arrived, his feet were ritually washed and he was directed to sit on the mat next to Deepa. A curtain prevented the bride and groom from seeing each other. We wondered how many brides and grooms in this land of long arranged marriages saw one another for the first time as the curtain dropped. Before the cloth was removed, Deepa and Harish ritually anointed one another with rice poured on the other's head over the curtain. With a smile on her face, Deepa appeared, for the only time in the ceremony, to being having fun.

More ceremony ensued that involved flowers, special oils administered by the priest and blessings by family members and friends with the pouring of coconut milk over their hands and a token coin offered.

The couple then changed clothes for the taking of the obligatory 10 million wedding photos. A feast that followed the ceremony was served on banana leaves. We were honored guests (the only Westerners) and were seated at the first table so that everyone entering and leaving would be sure to see us. We ate with a little reservation, having walked through the kitchen to the banquet hall. But all ended well…as all wedding days should.